Reconciliation

The sacrament of Reconciliation is also called Confession or Penance. These name three parts of the sacrament. We confess our sins, we perform a penance, and we are then Reconciled with God, neighbor, and self. Sin is nearly always this three-fold alienation; disrupting our relation to God, harming or objectifying another person, and being less than we know we can be. The Sacrament of Reconciliation restores the harmony intended by God for all his children. 

This sacrament should be used whenever we feel alienated from God because God always wants to welcome sinners back into the flock.  The essential purpose of the sacrament is to heal seriously disrupted relations with God that come from serious/mortal sin.  In the earliest days of the Church, this sacrament was used only for major sins like apostasy, adultery, and murder. The everyday sins, the little faults of most of us on the spiritual journey were not part of this sacrament.  

The little faults common to the human condition, everyday sins, are forgiven in a variety of ways including acts of charity, reading the Gospels, and attending Mass, and receiving the Eucharist (a medicine for the sick, not a reward for the perfect). That said, the Sacrament of Reconciliation can also be used to grow in holiness by making us more aware of our faults, big or small, and finding encouragement to change through God’s grace. 

How often should I go to Confession? 
As often as you feel a need to bring your sins before the Lord and receive advice and the assurance of God’s forgiveness by the words of the priest. Some people will come once a month as a way to help them grow in holiness. Certainly, you should come to this sacrament if you feel alienated from God or your own self by the gravity of sin.   

Do I have to go at least once a year?  
No. This is a common misunderstanding of what is called the “Easter Duty.” Your duty as a Catholic is to receive the Eucharist at least once a year. Preferably this would happen at Easter, hence an “Easter Duty” to receive the Eucharist. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is only required if you are aware of having committed a mortal sin; a serious sin in which you have willingly and knowingly rejected God’s love. Then, the Sacrament of Reconciliation needs to happen before you receive the Eucharist.  

What if I feel so ashamed of my sin and don’t want to tell anyone, even the priest? 
A priest is bound by the “seal of confession” and will never disclose the identity and sins heard in Confession. Naming the sin out loud is speaking it to God, the priest is only the instrument for God’s mercy to be known by the sinner when the priest says the words of absolution; “Your sins are forgiven.” Priests receive extensive training in hearing confessions and are trained to recognize the need for mercy for all sinners.  

How should I prepare for the Sacrament?
It is common to use a guide called an examination of conscience before coming to the Sacrament.  Here are examples of types of examination of conscience from the USCCB.